Title: The Panic Pure
Author: Harper Kingsley
Genre: mm suspense thriller
Rating: mature
Summary: Daniel Worth, billionaire and CEO of Worth Enterprises is questioned by FBI agent Marshal Newman about the disappearance of one of his employees. They strike up a conversation and soon are regularly meeting and begin dating. However neither realizes just how close danger is lurking.
CHAPTER THREE
He had managed to make it through the rest of the week without making a complete fool of himself, but by the end of work on Friday he couldn’t resist any longer.
Even knowing that it was a stupid thing to do, Marshal found himself parking his car in the Worth Enterprises parking garage. He would have gone to Daniel Worth’s house, but he instinctively knew that the man wouldn’t be able to handle something like that. He was very high-strung and someone invading his personal space might very well send him over the edge.
Drawing in a deep breath, he shut off the car engine and sat there for a long moment. This was his last chance to just turn around and go home. To not make an ass out of himself over someone he didn’t even know, hadn’t even really had a conversation with.
He could drive back home to his lonely apartment, heat up a TV dinner, maybe drink a beer or two, then crawl into his lonely bed. And he could spend the rest of his life regretting what he had never had, what he had never tried to have.
Stepping out of his car and walking to the elevator was probably one of the hardest things he had ever done, but it was something he knew he had to do. Even if Daniel told him to get out, he would at least know that he had bothered to try.
It took forever to get up to Daniel’s office, and the whole way he had to keep giving himself pep talks to keep from running away. It made him feel just a little ridiculous, but that ability to laugh at himself allowed him to keep on going.
Daniel’s assistant, Sophia, was talking on her phone when he wandered up to her desk. She nodded at him and held up one finger, telling him to wait.
He sat down on the comfortable leather couch and flipped through a magazine that was mostly perfume samples and advertisements. The pages were glossy under his fingertips, though the ink smeared and made the skin that touched it black.
“Agent Newman?” she called after a few minutes. “Did you need to ask some more questions about Ms. Brooks?”
He jumped a little. Without really knowing how it had happened, he had actually managed to distract himself from where he was. He stood and walked over to her desk. “Hey, I’m not here on official business,” he said. “I was just hoping that I could get in for a few minutes to talk to Mr. Worth?”
She looked at him and raised an eyebrow, then rose to her feet and walked over to Daniel’s office door. She barely knocked before walking in, the door clicking firmly shut behind her.
Marshal glanced down at the intercom button on her desk and wondered why she hadn’t just used that. He had noticed it the other day too when she had gone into Daniel’s office to tell him they were here rather than calling him on the phone or anything else.
It made Marshal’s analytical mind wonder if it involved one of Daniel’s quirks. He had only seen the man for a few minutes, but he already knew that there were some unresolved issues there, some of them probably pretty serious.
Sophia came back out of the office. “Agent Newman, Mr. Worth says that he’ll see you now.”
“Thank you,” he said. Then paused in front of the suddenly looming door to draw in a deep breath, hoping that it would imbue him with the bravery to face the almost certain rejection he was going to receive.
He rapped his hand against the door, waiting until he heard the softly voiced, “Come in,” before entering.
Daniel Worth was sitting behind his desk, his face turned toward Marshal curiously. There was no fear or nervousness on him here in the safety of his office. There was none of the jittery energy going through him that had been present when Marshal had seen him at his house.
“Agent Newman, what can I do for you today?” Daniel asked, raising an eyebrow.
Marshal drew in a deep breath and closed the door behind him before walking over to stand in front of that large desk. “Please call me Marshal. And I’m not here on FBI business,” he started purposely. “I’m here for personal reasons.”
“Personal reasons?” Daniel looked confused. “What do you mean?”
“Can I sit down?” Marshal asked. Daniel waved his hand in permission. Marshal settled onto the comfortable chair. He felt a little better talking about things when he wasn’t looming over the man he had a juvenile crush on. “It’s kind of hard to explain, but I can’t get you out of my head. Ever since Monday all I’ve been able to think about is asking you to dinner or a movie or something. Whatever you might be comfortable with.”
Daniel looked shocked, his blue-blue eyes going wide and doe-like. “W-why would you want to do that?”
Marshal licked his lips. “The minute I saw you, I felt like I had to get to know you better. You just kind of stuck in my head.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daniel said, fiddling with some papers in front of him. He looked very uncomfortable, as though he were wishing to be anywhere else but here.
“Look,” Marshal said, drawing in a deep breath, “if you honestly don’t want to, you can just say no. But if you’re open to the possibility, I would really like to go out with you.”
“Like on a date?”
“Exactly like on a date,” Marshal said, “because it would be a date. You and I engaged in an activity or meal together where we can talk about various things and just generally get to know each other. All in the hopes that someday we might have some kind of relationship.
“Why would you want to do that with me?” Daniel sounded honestly confused.
“Because I am attracted to you,” Marshal said. He felt a bit as though he was explaining human life to an alien from another planet. In another situation, with a different person, he might have felt irritated; as it was, he didn’t really mind because he had hope for a great outcome. “I’m drawn to you and I want to get to know you better.”
Daniel shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his eyes refusing to meet Marshal’s. “I… I don’t know what to say. I… No one has ever asked me out before.”
“Never?” Marshal was genuinely shocked. Even with his somewhat awkward personality, Daniel was good looking with his dark hair and big blue eyes. So no one ever bothering to try and get to know him better was pretty crazy.
A flush crawled up Daniel’s neck to stain his cheeks. “I…” His mouth moved wordlessly and his eyes were so shocked looking that it was almost painful to see.
Harper Kingsley
Ko-fi: HarperWCK
Paypal: HarperKingsley
Marshal held out his hands. “Look, I’m not trying to freak you out or anything. It was just driving me crazy until I had to come back here and see you.”
“You… you like me?” Daniel asked.
“Yes. It’s stupid to have a crush at my age, I know, but there you go. I am interested in you and I wanted to ask you for a chance to get to know you better.” Marshal licked his lips. “So, what do you think about the idea of us maybe having dinner together or seeing a movie or anything you want to do really?”
Daniel took forever to answer, so long that Marshal was almost sure he was going to be rejected. “I only eat at my house,” Daniel finally said, “at seven o’clock every night. I guess… I guess you could come sometime if you really wanted.”
Marshal couldn’t help the idiotic smile that curved his lips. “Really? Like tonight maybe?”
“To-tonight?”
“Sorry, is that a little soon?” Marshal had spotted the opportunity and his impulse had been to go for it and damn the consequences.
Daniel drew in a deep breath, then shrugged. “I… I guess not. If you want to come to my house tonight you can. I don’t know what we’re having, but Olivia always makes delicious food.”
Marshal grinned. “Okay. Okay. That’s great.” He stood up, knowing when it was better to retreat rather than press his luck. “So I’ll come by your house tonight. Thank you. Thank you.”
He hurriedly left before Daniel could change his mind and breezed past Sophia’s desk with what he had a feeling was an incredibly stupid grin on his face. But he just couldn’t help himself.
Something in him was screaming that this was going to be a great opportunity in his life. That maybe he was finally going to have someone to be happy with.
* * *
After “Marshal” had left, Danny went through the rest of his day in a daze.
He didn’t quite know what had happened, or what had made him say “Yes” to the man about having dinner together. It had all come at him so fast that in all honesty he probably should have just frozen or blurted out “No” without really thinking about it.
Sweet potatoes are not potatoes. They are a tropical plant and a member of the morning glory family. (Potatoes, along with tomatoes, are members of the nightshade family.)
Instead something in him had made him agree to Marshal. Some lonely part of him that had been screaming louder and louder in the back of his head about how completely miserable and alone he was had forced him to seize the opportunity presented to him.
And even though things were probably going to go badly, at the end of it all he would be able to say that he had at least tried something to get rid of his loneliness. He could say that he had taken a chance and tried to make a friend, because no matter what romantic ideas Marshal might have, Danny knew that he couldn’t offer anything more than that.
There was no room for love and romance in his life. He was so completely messed up that there was nothing in him to offer to another person.
But maybe if he was lucky and explained everything clearly and concisely, at the end of it all he might have a new friend. Someone to hang out with and talk to. Someone that didn’t know all of his past secrets and didn’t look at him with the same kind of pitying eyes that Arthur sometimes did.
Because even though Arthur was his best friend and always would be, there were some things that Arthur had never been able to get past. He was always just so careful all the time, as though a single word he said would cause Danny to shatter into a million pieces. And even if that might be true, Danny wanted to at least have the illusion that he was normal, that he was just another guy and he could have friends to hang out with and no one had to know how completely messed up he was in his head.
It was a little too much to hope that eventually he would be able to eat out in restaurants, or go to places he had never been before, but maybe Marshal would be okay with his weirdness. All he would have to do is tell the man that there would never be any romance between them. That the best he could offer was friendship and a whole basket full of neuroses.
The image of Marshal’s ecstatic grin flashed in his mind, but he resolved to ignore it. There would be no kisses, no sex, and unless he could get past his body issues, no companionable hugs either. There might be conversation and good food and someone that he could invite over to his house to watch movies with. It was a little too much to think that Marshal would ever want to play with his Legos.
Olivia was surprised when he came home and told her that he was going to have a guest for dinner, but she always made plenty of food so that wasn’t a problem. Then he retreated to his game room and his Legos until it was time to eat.
There was always just something so soothing about clicking the plastic pieces together and knowing that he was creating something new to the world. He could focus on the pieces and the sketches he had drawn for each building he was making.
Looking down at his current diagram, he knew that some people would think his attention to detail a bit ridiculous. Every part of the building was labeled piece by piece, which made it easier for him to sort out what Lego he needed for every single part.
Glancing around his game room, it was a model of obsessive compulsive disorder. Clear plastic drawers lined the walls, each with a label describing what pieces were inside–3-bricks, 4-bricks, flat pieces, designer trees, wheels, and people. He had every kind of Lego available, thousands and thousands of dollars worth of plastic toy pieces.
He knew it was ridiculous how much money he poured into his hobby, but it was the only thing that really kept him from flying off the handle. Being able to build his towers and cities, controlling every aspect of what went into his worlds, made him feel less as though his life was going to crumble around him at any moment.
And maybe that was why he had agreed to dinner with Marshal Newman.
In some way, being able to let someone else into his life was a sign of his self-control. Being able to choose to let someone in meant that his life was his own because no one else had made him interact with the man. If he had wanted, he could have told Marshal to leave and never come back, but instead he had chosen to share a meal with him. Had chosen to maybe have a new friend in his life.
Danny reached into the tray at his side and pulled out a corner piece. It made it so much easier for him to assemble his buildings when he had all the pieces in one place. Without it, he thought that maybe one city would take years to construct instead of months.
Sometimes being OCD worked out well for him. It also helped him get his paperwork done, since he was constantly checking and rechecking his work until there were absolutely no mistakes. Though there was a reason why Sophia had the authority to clear things off his computer after a certain amount of time; otherwise he would become so caught up in the idea of perfection that he wouldn’t be able to get anything done.
Snapping pieces together with mechanical precision, he was able to allow the bulk of his mind to wander on to other ideas. The Legos soothed the manic edge off his thoughts so he was able to think of things calmly and clearly.
Focusing on his diagrams kept him from drowning in the anxiety that always swished and whirled inside of him, threatening to pull him down and never let him free.
He remembered when his therapist, Dr. Landry, had suggested that he find some creative hobby to help him focus his mind. He had scoffed at the idea of sculpting or painting, his body cringing at the thought of the mess it would involve. Buying that first small Lego kit had been just a token for his doctor, a way to show her just how ridiculous her idea was.
Only it hadn’t been ridiculous. And since that first spaceship had been assembled, he had devoted thousands of hours into his various Lego projects.
Looking at his game room–with the models of New York, London, Paris, and Tokyo–a stranger would be able to tell that he had spent a lot of time on his hobby. What they wouldn’t have known was that this was the sixth game room and that the others were all filled up with worlds made out of Lego.
He had to admit, even if just to himself, that he was becoming a concern. And that was part of the reason why he had said “Yes” to Marshal.
Dr. Landry had suggested a craft to act as a creative outlet for him to bleed off some of the chaos in his mind and sooth himself. But lately she had been voicing concern over his obsessive behavior. She had been gentle in her wording, but she basically wanted him to find something more to fill his free time with. She thought that work and Legos were not enough for him, that he needed more personal contact with people.
He had been thinking for months about how he was supposed to meet more people. But he didn’t think it would be smart to become too personal with the people he worked with–the people that worked for him–and there was no way he would ever get up enough bravery to be able to go out to a club or a sports game or wherever it was that people met new people.
So the fact that someone had come into his life and wanted to get to know him… it was like a Godsend. And even if it didn’t work out, he would be able to tell Dr. Landry that at least he had tried and she would tell him that even just trying was a first step toward becoming a better person.
He felt a little bad about using Marshal. The man was interested in him romantically, and he was going to turn around and use him to appease his therapist and his own personal demons.
“I’m a jerk,” he whispered.
“What was that sir?”
He jumped and whirled around, startling Andrea who had come in without his noticing. “You scared me,” he blurted.
She blushed and touched her lips with her fingers. “I’m so sorry, sir. I thought you heard me knock. Beatrice sent me–she said that dinner is nearly ready and that your guest is here.”
“He’s really here?” he asked, then felt stupid. “Of course he is. Um, can you tell him that I’ll be just a minute? I need to wash my hands.”
“Of course, sir,” she said, flashing her dimples. She was a pretty, round-faced twenty-something with inky black hair and dusky skin. She was the youngest of the maids and it showed sometimes in the mistakes she made that the others knew better than to commit. Like not waiting until she was sure he had heard her before coming in to any room he was in.
He waited until she left before drawing in a deep breath and standing up. Looking around the room once more, he had the sudden urge to pretend that Marshal wasn’t here to see him, and instead stay in the safety of his dreams. Pretending that he would ever go to all the cities he had made, meeting new people at every turn and not being afraid to breathe their same air.
He wanted to stay in the safety of his game room with his Legos, but he knew he couldn’t do that.
So he left to go wash his hands and go to dinner.
He would not let the anxious thoughts take over his mind; would instead let things happen as they would.
* * *
The mansion was just as dauntingly huge as he remembered. It was the kind of place where someone could get lost going to the bathroom.
If the sweet-faced maid hadn’t led him to the drawing room, he didn’t know what he would have done. Probably wandered around for hours with no clue as to where he was going.
He clenched his suddenly sweaty hands around the flowers he had bought on a whim. Red roses to signify passion and love. They were suddenly making him feel a little stupid.
Bringing flowers to a man, what was I thinking? he thought, clenching his teeth. He didn’t know what he would do if Daniel was offended by them and flung them back in his face.
It was stupid, but when he’d stopped off at the store on the way here all he’d been able to think was that he couldn’t come empty-handed. He’d thought about buying wine, but he didn’t know if Daniel even drank alcohol, and if he did the man could certainly afford a better brand than Marshal was ever going to find at the supermarket.
When he’d spotted the display of flowers, he had quickly chosen half a dozen red roses and a pretty blue glass vase. It had made him think of the color of Daniel’s eyes. And if everything went as he hoped, he would make sure to always keep it full of flowers, every color of the rainbow until Daniel became sick of the smell of them.
He knew he was getting ahead of himself, but just being here made him feel as though he was halfway through the door. And his mind insisted on spinning fantasies of breakfasts in bed and cuddling on love seats. All of the stupid lovey-lovey things that he had refused to indulge in with any other partner.
His emotional placidity had been the reason for a good number of his breakups in the past. Women and men both had told him that he was too distant and unreachable, that he never shared his thoughts and feelings and never wanted to do anything that showed any kind of love. Caring, yes, love, no.
One woman had called him a robot just before she’d flung a dinner plate at his head. She’d been a fiery Mexican girl with a thick accent and the face of a supermodel. But she’d also been bat-shit crazy, and the only thing that had drawn him to her was his penis. The rest of him had found her clingy and uncomfortable to be around.
Finding himself wanting to indulge in all of the cute and romantic things that he had always shied away from in the past made him laugh a little. To fantasize about doing all of the tender things he had always scoffed at and mocked before; he was truly receiving his just desserts.
To better his karmic balance, he made a mental note to send letters of apology to Julia, Cheryl, and Sam. All three had almost begged him for walks in the park, hand-holding through the mall, and days spent just kissing and cuddling. And in return for their sentiment he had sent each one of them packing, shuddering at the thought of being so girly and in love, wondering why sex was never just enough for some people.
He looked down at the flowers in his hand, wondering if he was going to be just as rejected as he had rejected others.
Maybe I should just toss these and pretend I never bought them? he wondered.
Marshal looked up at the sound of the drawing room door sliding open. His heart pinged when Daniel came striding through, his elbows tight to his sides and his expression looking a little pinched with nerves.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” Daniel said, nodding his head. He was just as twitchy and nervous looking as he’d been the first time Marshal had met him. It was oddly endearing.
“I haven’t been waiting long,” Marshal said. He stepped forward, holding out the vase of roses. “I got you this.”
Daniel just looked at them blankly for a moment, before his hand hesitantly reached out to take the flowers. He studied them as though he’d never seen roses before. “Thank you?”
Marshal laughed. “I’m sorry if you’re offended,” he said. “I just saw them and thought of you.”
Daniel blinked at him, his lips parting softly. “Oh. Well, thank you then. They’ll look very nice on the table in my sitting room.”
“So you’re going to keep them around you always?” Marshal suggested, a smile quirking his lips.
“I guess, if that’s the way you want to look at it.” Daniel kept the flowers in his hand as he turned back toward the door. “Come on, Olivia has dinner waiting for us.”
“Good,” Marshal said, letting his voice take on a bit of purr. “I’m starving.”
Watching the back of Daniel’s neck, he could see the blush stain that pale skin. It made a thrill go through him and a catlike smile curl his lips.
He knew that Daniel was going to give him trouble, would fight him tooth and nail before having any kind of relationship with him, but just seeing that blush told him that if he worked things right the possibility existed. All he had to do was be patient and not push too hard and he could very well end up with everything he wanted.
“Oh my God, I want to marry your cook,” Marshal moaned, chasing a last bite of creamy spinach mashed potatoes around his plate.
“She’s like sixty-five years old,” Daniel said, “but if that’s what you’re into…”
Marshal grinned at him. “I could marry her and she would make me fat and happy. I would eat these mashed potatoes everyday and say goodbye to ever seeing my feet.”
“If you think this was good, you should try her crown roast or her pumpkin ice-cream,” Daniel said.
“Pumpkin ice-cream? Oh God, that sounds so good,” he groaned. “You know, if I could fit another bite in.”
“That’s why you shouldn’t have asked for that third helping,” Daniel said, wagging a finger at him. “You only have yourself to blame. And now you’re going to miss out on dessert. Andrea told me it’s a freshly baked German chocolate cake.”
Marshal moaned again. “I want some so bad, but I’m so full. Do you think we could hold off on the cake for a little while? I’m sure if I could digest some of this I’ll be able to fit some cake in.”
“You’re gross,” Daniel said, and actually laughed. It made a delighted smile take over Marshal’s face.
The meal had started out stiffly, but when he’d realized Marshal wasn’t going to get all weird on him, was going to keep things on a friendly level, Daniel had gradually relaxed. He had even started rewarding Marshal with teasing and jokes, which had made him ridiculously happy.
“So, what do you want to do while we wait for our food to digest?” Marshal asked, barely keeping the suggestive tone out of his voice. He knew when not to push.
Daniel licked his lower lip, a tiny flash of tongue that could have easily been missed. “Um, we could watch a movie,” he said.
“Well, you did say you had a pretty big collection,” Marshal said.
Daniel nodded and stood up. “Come on. I have a copy of that new sci-fi movie, the one where the guy wakes up on a prison planet with no idea how he got there. He has to fight his way across the planet. It’s pretty bad ass.”
“Sounds good to me,” Marshal said, smiling.
Finding out that Daniel was kind of a nerd had been a little surprising, but not really when he thought about it. Just listening to the man wax eloquent about movies and comic books and electronic gadgets had turned out to be the cutest thing ever.
He followed Daniel through the gargantuan house until they reached a set of double doors that opened up on an actual home theater with four rows of luxurious theater seats and a screen that covered the entire far wall.
“Whoa,” Marshal said, looking around.
Daniel flashed him a smile over his shoulder, before turning to pick a Blu-ray disc out of the collection that covered the whole wall to the right of the screen. He then began fiddling with the player hidden next to the built-in shelves.
“I had this room built special,” he said. “I have a regular entertainment center in the parlor, but there’s something nice about having a whole room devoted to watching movies.”
“This is a full-on movie theater,” Marshal said, settling in one of the seats in the front row. It felt like the cushions were hugging his ass and he couldn’t help the ridiculous little sighing-cooing sound he made. “Wow, these seats are nice.”
The screen lit up and the speakers made a “whooming” sound as they came online.
“There we go,” Daniel said. “Do you want a soda or some popcorn or something?”
“Ugh, no popcorn,” Marshal said, patting his stomach. “But a Coke might be nice?”
“All right,” Daniel said. He wandered to an intercom panel on the wall near the door. “Olivia, can you have someone bring us a couple of Cokes to the theater room, please?”
“Of course, dear. Do you want any snacks with them?” a motherly voice asked.
“No, thank you. Just the drinks, please.” Daniel let go of the button and came to sit down next to Marshal, looking just a little nervous about sitting so near to someone else.
The seats weren’t as close as the regular seats in a movie theater were, each one having their own armrest, but Marshal was careful to keep all of his limbs neatly in his own space. He didn’t want to do anything to spook Daniel, not when things were going so well.
“What about the lights?” he asked.
Daniel looked up at them, then gave him a smile. “Don’t worry. They’re on a timer. Once I start the movie, the lights will automatically go down.” He waved around a small black remote control that Marshal hadn’t even seen him pick up. “You ready to watch this?”
“Sure.”
Daniel pointed the remote at the screen and clicked the menu button, then PLAY.
The starting credits came up and the lights dimmed to blackness. And when the movie really began, Marshal felt himself being drawn in by the complete experience of the surround sound and the gigantic screen that made it seem as though he was actually in the movie.
He barely noticed when one of the maids brought their drinks. He was enraptured by what he was seeing and hearing.
* * *
There was no way he could ignore the warmth of Marshal’s arm next to his. Sure, they weren’t touching and they were each resting on their own armrest, but the warmth was real in his mind.
He turned his head just a little–not enough to be obvious–and stared at the side of Marshals face.
He didn’t quite know what was happening here, but he was going to let it take its own course. It might be the biggest mistake he had ever made in his life, but that something inside him was screaming at him to give this thing–whatever it was–a chance.
When Marshal had given him those roses, it had been the strangest thing. He had never had much interest in flowers before, but just the fact that Marshal had thought to bring them to him made them special. They were like a physical manifestation of the fact that someone actually wanted to care about him.
And he would be a complete idiot to throw the possibility of that away, especially since he had spent months bemoaning the fact that he was miserable with loneliness.
It was like someone throwing away a hamburger when they were starving just because it wasn’t a steak.
Besides, in the course of the night, one of the things he had realized about Marshal was that he was a genuinely nice guy. That was why he had invited him to watch a movie. It was going to run past his regularly scheduled bedtime, but that didn’t seem to matter.
Unable to help it, he felt a tiny smile curve his lips.
He was probably the most pathetic person in the world, but right here and now it didn’t seem to matter. Because he had someone that wanted to share time with him.
He clicked the lights back up to full power when the end credits started rolling. “So, what did you think of it?”
Marshal stretched his arms over his head and smiled at him. “That was a great movie and the special effects were really awesome.”
“It probably would have been better if I’d gotten the 3D version, but I don’t like watching those too much. They give me a headache after awhile.” Danny rubbed the side of his nose. “I’m glad you liked the movie. Do you want to have some dessert now?”
“Well,” Marshal rubbed his belly contemplatively, “I guess I’m ready for something delicious.”
“And delicious it will be,” Danny said. “That’s the only kind of food Olivia makes.”
“I’m telling you, if it’s as good as the rest of the food she made, I’m going to end up marrying her. But don’t worry, you’ll be invited to the wedding.”
“I hope that I would be at the top of the guest list,” Danny said, smiling.
Marshal paused a moment, his eyes darkening slightly, before he smiled brightly. “I promise that you’ll be at the top of the list. And in return you’ll pay for her dowry, right?”
“She’s sixty-five years old. What kind of dowry do you expect?” Danny asked, leading him from the theater and back toward the dining room.
“I don’t know. We just need enough money to buy the groceries needed for her to make me delicious meals morning, noon, and night.”
“You’ll end up fat,” Danny teased.
“I don’t mind,” Marshal said, grinning.
They sat back down at the dining room table. The dishes from earlier had been cleared away and one of the maid’s had changed the centerpiece to a large crystal bowl filled with fresh fruit. Red-red apples, plump peaches, and clumps of juicy red grapes–all of his favorite fruits carefully arranged to look as appetizing as possible.
They sat there talking quietly for about two minutes before Andrea came in. “Can I get anything for you, sir?” she asked, her bright black eyes darting over Marshal very quickly before focusing back on Danny.
“I think we’re ready for dessert,” Danny said. He looked at Marshal, “Do you want any coffee or anything?”
Marshal nodded. “Coffee sounds good. I don’t really like things to be too sweet all the time.” He glanced at Danny when he said that last, which he didn’t really understand.
Danny shifted a little uncomfortably, wondering at the jolt that went through him. He forced himself to focus on Andrea. “Dessert and coffee, please. Full-service.”
She bobbed her head quickly. “Of course, sir.” Her heels tapped quickly back across the floor as she left through the door that led into the kitchen.
“I feel like I’m in an old movie or something,” Marshal said.
“What do you mean?” Danny asked.
Marshal reached out to pluck a grape out of the bowl. He rolled it between his fingers, squeezing gently as he looked around the dining room. “I don’t know. This whole place is pretty fancy, and the way your maids and stuff talk to you… I feel like they should all have English accents or something.”
“They do,” Danny said, a smile quirking his lips, “that’s why it takes so long to train them. All that pesky English is something we don’t allow around here. We’re truly American, and the only thing they speak in the back areas of the house is Spanish.”
“Ah, that one was bad,” Marshal groaned, waving his hand. He popped the grape in his mouth. “Oh, this is really good.”
“I’m just glad you decided to stop playing with it. You’re like a little kid.” Danny smiled to take the possible sting out of his words.
Marshal grinned back at him, a surprisingly charming expression. “I always like to think that I’m just a kid at heart.”
Andrea came bustling back in, pushing a lidded cart. “Here we go now,” she said, beginning to unload it in front of them on the table.
A tray with a tea set and two teacups was carefully settled beside Danny. She knew better than to try and serve him the coffee because he would throw a fit otherwise. There were some things he insisted on handling for himself, no matter how appalled some members of high society would have been.
After the tray, she brought out a covered cake holder and two small plates along with a silver cake server. When she lifted the lid from the cake, she revealed a beautiful German chocolate cake that had been perfectly sliced into equal sized wedges.
“Wow, that looks awesome,” Marshal said, leaning forward in his chair. “I can’t believe you eat like this every night.”
“I don’t really,” Danny said. “I mean, I could if I wanted to, but my tastes are actually pretty simple. I like to save cake and things like that for special occasions.”
“So I’m a special occasion?” Marshal arched an eyebrow at him.
Danny felt his cheeks warming and didn’t know what to say. “I… I…”
Marshal grinned and waved his hand at him. “Never mind, I was just teasing you.” He clapped and rubbed his hands together. “As someone once said, ‘Let us eat cake!'”
“I don’t think you quite said that correctly, but I’m all for the eating of cake,” Danny said, nodding at Andrea.
She smiled a little as she placed a slice of cake on each plate before carefully setting them before them with a fork. “There you go. Will there be anything else, sir?”
“No thank you,” Danny said.
She bobbed quickly, placed the lid back over the cake, and hurried from the room.
“Isn’t she going to pour the coffee too?” Marshal asked. “I mean, I’ve seen movies like this and isn’t that what’s usually supposed to happen?”
Danny shook his head. “I like to mix my own coffee. But what would you like in yours?” he asked, standing to pour coffee in the two cups.
“I take mine black,” Marshal said, then snorted at Danny’s look of disgust. He accepted his steaming cup gratefully. “Thank you.”
Danny felt a small smile curving his lips as he quickly added two sugar cubes and a splash of cream to his own coffee. He usually liked it a little sweeter, but he figured the cake was enough for his sweet tooth and anything more would be overkill.
He sat back down with his cake and coffee, but watched Marshal enjoying his own for a long moment. The man looked as though he had been shoved face first into heaven, a blissful smile on his lips while his eyes half-shut with every bite.
“Oh my God, this is so delicious,” Marshal groaned.
“I thought you’d like it,” Danny said, smiling and taking a small bite of his own cake. Olivia was the best cook he had ever known and he knew she could have her own five star restaurant if she wanted to go through all the trouble. That was probably why he paid her so much money even though she had never asked for it. She deserved it, that was all.
* * *
He couldn’t help the flare of disappointment that went through him when he realized the night was over. Danny hadn’t outright told him he had to leave, but he’d mentioned that it was his bedtime and Marshal didn’t want to push things too fast too soon.
It had been such a nice evening though.
“I had a really nice time,” Marshal said, hoping he didn’t sound completely stupid.
“I did too,” Danny said, probably sounding more surprised than he meant to, though it was really hard to tell.
“Do you think we could spend more time together?” Marshal asked.
Danny blinked at him for a second. “Um, I have to go to bed soon so we can’t spend any more time tonight.”
Marshal laughed and waved his hand. “Not tonight. But maybe tomorrow or the next night or whenever you want?” He was really that desperate to be able to spend more time with Danny.
“Oh, sure,” Danny said. “I think we could be really great friends.”
“Just friends?” Marshal asked, then waved his hand. “Sorry, sorry, I’m not going to push. What will be, will be.”
Danny chewed his lower lip, leaving it red and a little swollen. “You really don’t mind? From what I understand, most people…”
Marshal held out his hand to stop him from continuing. “I’m not most people,” he said. “I really like you and I’m willing to take anything from you that I can get. And if all you can give right now is friendship, then I’ll be happy to be your best friend forever.”
“‘Best friend forever?'” Danny said, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the kind of thing thirteen year old girls say?”
“Well, you did suggest that I’m nothing but a kid at heart. And a thirteen year old girl is a kid.” Marshal knew better than to try and get a kiss–not this early in the game–but he did hold out his hand. “Do you think I can get a handshake at least?”
Danny froze for a moment, his eyes focused on Marshal’s hand as though he thought it was something poisonous. The look in his eyes was so panicked that Marshal started to pull his hand back and assure him that it was all right, he didn’t need a handshake or anything else from him. Then Danny’s hand shot out to grab his, his grip shaky and nervous, but real.
Marshal carefully didn’t squeeze Danny’s hand, not wanting to spook him. And when he pulled his hand back after a bare heartbeat, Marshal didn’t follow his instinct and clamp down, holding tight and never letting go. He just let Danny’s hand go free and swallowed his sadness at the loss of warmth.
“Um,” Danny looked down at his feet, his hands twisting together in front of him, “you can come again tomorrow if you want. Olivia was really happy to have someone other than just me to cook for today.”
“I’d be happy to come back,” Marshal said, ignoring the way his cheeks ached from grinning so hard. “And maybe next time I can tell Olivia how great her cooking is in person?”
Danny covered his mouth with his hand for a second, his eyes going wide. “Oh, I didn’t even think about introducing you.”
More than anything, Marshal wanted to reach out and hug him, but he really wasn’t that dumb. “Well, I wouldn’t worry too much. We do have another dinner date, don’t we? So I’ll be happy to meet her then.”
“If I forget, you have to remind me to introduce you. She’ll be so happy to meet you.”
“And I’ll definitely be happy to meet her,” Marshal said. “You never really forget the day you meet your future wife.”
Danny grinned at him and Marshal wanted to cheer.
There’d been some awkwardness at the beginning of the night, but with a little bit of charm on his part, Danny had relaxed enough to smile and laugh and open up some. It just seemed as though Danny was one of those guys that only started to relax when he was one-on-one, and who larger groups completely freaked out.
Marshal was happy just to be one of the people that Danny could relax around. It made him feel a kind of contentment he hadn’t experienced in longer than he could remember. A simple kind of happiness that wasn’t frighteningly overwhelming, but that made him feel warmth flow through his entire body.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, stepping backward through the door.
“See you,” Danny said, his hand raising in a quick wave before flopping back down at his side. He didn’t seem to know what to do with himself, which was actually pretty cute when Marshal let himself think about it.
As he walked down the path toward where he’d parked his car, he allowed himself only one glance back, but was pleased to see that Danny was still standing highlighted in the door. It was a sign that he was definitely getting to him and that he could actually end up happy.
“I just might end up with a socially awkward boyfriend,” Marshal murmured to himself, then couldn’t help a stupid giggle. He would have been embarrassed if anyone had heard it, but he was just bubbling with glee.
* * *
There was a hunger in his belly that didn’t really have anything to do with food. That dark thing inside him was demanding that he go out and find another victim.
Sometimes he realized that what he was doing was wrong. There were instances of lucidity where he thought that perhaps the people around him were actually people and not just toys to be played with until they broke.
It was in those times that he realized he was nothing more than a monster in human flesh, that what he was doing was completely wrong. He thought of his mother and all the things she had wanted him to do and be and there were second thoughts full of regret.
But those times were few and far between and had become less and less as time went on until he hadn’t been bothered by anything as banal as conscience or morals in close to two years. It made him wonder, when he had a spare moment, if he was somehow losing parts of himself to the hunger that tore through him almost constantly now.
He had been killing more and more lately. In the last two weeks he had killed four people–three women and one man–and he was already feeling that hunger again. It was a ravenous beast intent on swallowing the world up and spitting out the bones.
The only time he felt real was when he had a filleting knife in one hand and a mad grin on his lips, a grin so hard that it left his cheeks hurting an hour later. That was when he felt most alive, when he was doing his work. The rest of the time he felt as though he was made out of mis-kilned ceramic, just a single heartbeat away from shattering into a thousand pieces.
He growled under his breath when he felt that terrible itching under his skin try to take over. There was no way he would be able to stop himself. He needed to go out right now before he lost himself completely.
Not that he really minded.
It was when he was most out of control that he got the most satisfaction. Flesh and blood melting off the bone like butter on a hot griddle and even through the ball gag their screams gave him a hard on that just wouldn’t quit.
And right now, he was getting almost more hungry than he could bear and he just knew that something needed to be done.
He finally gave up on the idea of staying home and watching TV and rose up off the couch to find his jacket and shoes.
He had a little hunting to do.
/CHAPTER
[table id=1 /]