it’s the end of the world

The idea that the long-term survival goal of humanity is to leave the frakking planet is ludicrous.

There are people out there, right now, that honestly think we should build ark ships in preparation for our inevitable leave-taking. Because we are such cancers on the planet that we’re going to have to flee it like a bad party. After we make sure to double-decker the only toilet and fuck the 99% of people we leave behind, they can pee outside.

And I use “we” in the loosest sense because I’m enough of a realist to know that I’m not going to be one of the lucky folk leaving the planet. I mean, I need glasses to see, I’ll be outside the age bracket before anybody goes anywhere, and my “higher education” involves trying shrooms that one time and freaking out for what felt like two years but was probably only three episodes of The Venture Brothers, which I thought was a good cartoon watching choice for my first hallucinatory journey.

What I’m saying is, I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.

Like come on, 900-year-old billionaire, they’re really going to take your old ass to space? How fucking useless are you going to be for the future of humanity? “My skills include avoiding corporate accountability and fucking young people for money. You totally need me because, you know, reasons.” No dude, you ain’t going anywhere either, and neither are your grandkids, because they’re probably going to be just as useless as you are.

If I was one of the planners for humanity’s last journey, I would gladly take your money and accept your children/grandchildren/great-grandchildren aboard my ark. Then two minutes out of Earth orbit I’d dump them and they’re genetic contributions out the nearest airlock because isn’t … Read the rest “The idea that the long-term survival goal of humanity is to leave the frakking planet is ludicrous”

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