The idea that the long-term survival goal of humanity is to leave the frakking planet is ludicrous.
There are people out there, right now, that honestly think we should build ark ships in preparation for our inevitable leave-taking. Because we are such cancers on the planet that we’re going to have to flee it like a bad party. After we make sure to double-decker the only toilet and fuck the 99% of people we leave behind, they can pee outside.
And I use “we” in the loosest sense because I’m enough of a realist to know that I’m not going to be one of the lucky folk leaving the planet. I mean, I need glasses to see, I’ll be outside the age bracket before anybody goes anywhere, and my “higher education” involves trying shrooms that one time and freaking out for what felt like two years but was probably only three episodes of The Venture Brothers, which I thought was a good cartoon watching choice for my first hallucinatory journey.
What I’m saying is, I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you.
Like come on, 900-year-old billionaire, they’re really going to take your old ass to space? How fucking useless are you going to be for the future of humanity? “My skills include avoiding corporate accountability and fucking young people for money. You totally need me because, you know, reasons.” No dude, you ain’t going anywhere either, and neither are your grandkids, because they’re probably going to be just as useless as you are.
If I was one of the planners for humanity’s last journey, I would gladly take your money and accept your children/grandchildren/great-grandchildren aboard my ark. Then two minutes out of Earth orbit I’d dump them and they’re genetic contributions out the nearest airlock because isn’t the whole point of everything a brand new start for the human race? Why would we want to make the same mistakes again, only this time on a 500 year journey to the nearest habitable planet?
And that’s another thing. How likely is it that we’re going to find another planet that humans can survive on? If there’s even a tiny micro difference, we’re dead. Humans evolved on Earth for a reason. It has the perfect blend of oxygen, water, and microbacteria that we need to live.
So instead of glorifying in destroying the environment and trusting that some Hail Mary “Welcome to our new home planet”-pass is going to happen, we should focus instead on fixing what we’ve got because it might be all that we’ve got. Instead of burning through our money and wrecking our credit like some 20-year-old kid with their first checking account and a college loan with a 99.8% APR, we should probably be looking at ways to save the planet.
Because realistically speaking? We’re in it for the long haul. So rather than staring longingly at the door, we should be fixing up what we’ve got.
Enlist – Kara Thrace by jules_chan
