Tuesday Night, by Harper Kingsley – Chapter Ten [Kanon, superhero, Sunfire/Teen Steel, mm]

Title: Tuesday Night
Author: Harper Kingsley
Setting: Kanon-verse
Genre: superhero, mm

CHAPTER TEN

The situation blew up. Seth cursed himself for being a jinx. Especially since it literally blew up along with most of Bill’s Discount Computer and Electronic Component Emporium and the people inside.

The scene was a mess of blood and body parts. Saint Kloude had already thrown up and WarSong looked like she wanted to, though she was maintaining a stoic expression. Right up until she tripped over the charred remains of an arm and was caught mere inches from face-planting in a pile of red that Seth refused to identify. WarSong gagged loudly, and not from the firm grip Powergirl had on her cape.

“You’re all right,” Powergirl said. “Don’t focus on any of this and don’t breathe through your nose.”

“We… we could have died,” WarSong stated. She was shocky, her suit sporting burnt holes that revealed the pale skin beneath. Strands of long black hair hung wild around her head, but her torn and dirty gloves couldn’t tame them and she didn’t have a hair-tie anyway.

Seth watched her for a few seconds before turning away. She wouldn’t want him close to her right now and he didn’t have the words to make anything okay.

He looked around the cordoned off blast zone, the press already gathering around the edges. The air was heavy with the scent of burning, and acrid black smoke trailed up into the sky.

Baby Calypso was dead. It wasn’t his fault, but it had happened on his watch. He thought he could still hear the echoes of her screams, but that was just guilty imagining. Because he hadn’t been fast enough, smart enough, and he hadn’t made sure the rookies were prepared enough.

Large black boots clumped across the wreckage to stop in front of him. “Sunfire, report.”

Seth looked into the grim face of Caspian Dukes, Watch-Commander of the League of Superheroes. His appearance here was proof that Seth had screwed up.

“The situation was more volatile than expected,” he said, keeping his voice even. “We didn’t realize they’d wired the hostages to blow until seconds before the explosion. We managed to contain the blast zone, but neither the hostages nor the prisoners survived.”

Dukes looked around the wreckage. There was no expression on his face. “No, they did not. This is going to be a media nightmare, kid. Get ready to take some heat.”

“Yes, sir,” Seth said.

It might have been unfair since he’d no longer been in command at the time, but he’d been the first arrival on scene. To the media and the world at large, this cock-up would be tied to the name Sunfire forever more. He’d certainly be carrying the guilt around.

“There’s enough people here to handle the clean up, so why don’t you get out of here? Remember to turn in your after action report.”

“Yes, sir.” Seth gave him a nod and turned away. That was something he appreciated about Dukes: he spoke straight and didn’t waste time on lectures. He knew that sometimes things got screwed up and someone had to take the blame regardless of what really happened.

Seth was going to be stuck with the blame for this mess. Which was why his first words to Powergirl after leaving Dukes were, “I’m taking a few days off from public gigs.”

Her mouth opened, then closed as she looked around. She nodded. “I understand.”

“Thanks. I’m headed back to the Lair. Dukes cleared me,” he said. “Unless you need me for something?”

“No, you can get out of here. Maybe take a shower. You smell.”

“Thanks for the suggestion.” He held out his fist for a quick knuckle bump. It amused him to know that she thought it was childish but would do it anyway. “Laters!”

He got out of there before she thought to ask him to take the newbies with him. He couldn’t handle it at the moment.

*
Reaching the Demi Lair, Seth ducked through the balcony doors against protocol. He wasn’t in the mood for a full security check, which is what he would have gotten if he’d gone through the lobby. From the flashes of light and the sound below he knew the media was waiting to ambush him or any other member of the Teen Demis they could catch. He didn’t look in their direction, refusing to give them a clear face shot.

He paused long enough to wash his hands and make himself two sandwiches before retreating to his room. He left the sandwiches on the desk before going into the bathroom and taking a shower. He scrubbed his hair three times to get all the soot and stink out, then changed into sweatpants and a plain tee shirt before flopping into his desk chair.

He took a bite of sandwich as he woke up his computer and pinged Tony’s video chat. He needed something to think about that didn’t have anything to do with how he’d fucked up today.

Tony’s face appearing on the screen was like a balm to the soul. “Hello.”

Seth tried hard not to sound needy. “Hey, I know I’m early, but I felt like checking in with you. How’s Henry?”

Tony’s smile was bright. “No probs, man. I was tired of staring at the walls two hours ago.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Henry’s sleeping, if you can’t tell. I’ve already snuck in there three times to make sure he’s still breathing. I don’t think he’s ever slept this long. It’s scaring me.”

Seth could feel himself relaxing into the comfort of Tony’s odd sense of humor. “Well, I’m glad you’ve been enjoying your free time.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Seriously, someone should warn about how boring babies are. They’re like eating, sleeping jellybeans that spit up everywhere.” He brushed his fingers over a small discolored splotch on the front of his shirt.

“Gross. You’re still wearing it?”

“Hey, I got tired of washing laundry all the time. Plus I care about the environment.”

“Solar powered here, though I get where you’re coming from.” Seth laughed at the expression Tony gave him.

The whole “Sunfire might be solar powered” thing had been a long-running belief in criminal circles. Which explained all the dark boxes Seth had broken out of over the years. There were some people that refused to accept that his power was self-generated.

“You’re an ass,” Tony said, and to Seth’s hopelessly infatuated brain it sounded like an endearment.

“Thank you,” he said.

“What?”

“I was having a bad day and seeing your face has made it better.”

“What happened?”

Seth shrugged. “You’re probably going to see the story on the news in a little while. What should have been a routine arrest went bad. A bunch of people died on my watch. Same shit, different day.”

“Huh. It seems like there might be more to the story, but I’m not going to grill you.” Tony chewed on his lip. “I saw Evan Lee. Did you know he lives in our building?”

“I did not know that,” Seth said. “How is he?”

Tony shook his head. “Still trying to handle things. He looks much better than he did, but I don’t think he’s ever going to be all right.”

“I feel bad for him.”

“Me too. I feel like I should do something for him, but I have no idea what.” Tony reached forward and the image jostled as he picked up the laptop and carried it into his bedroom. At Seth’s look, he grinned. “Sorry. I couldn’t talk in the kitchen because the counter is too low. Wouldn’t want to force you to stare up my nose.”

A completely cheesy and inappropriate comeback was on the tip of Seth’s tongue, but he bit it back. There was no reason to make things weird. “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Tony disappeared from the screen for a few seconds as he set the laptop on the bureau facing the bed. When he reappeared it was to flop onto the navy blue comforter, his jean-clad legs looking ridiculously long. His white socks were heather gray colored across the soles.

It was stupid and embarrassing and Seth made sure not to shift uncomfortably, but he was hard. Instant boner, he thought ruefully. It was something he’d thought would stop happening when he was out of his teens, but Tony had always been able to push his buttons. And at least they weren’t in person, where his hard on would be obvious in his sweatpants.

“So…” He cleared his throat. “Evan is in our building?”

“Yeah. We went to lunch the other day and it was nice talking to him. I think I’m going to invite him over to our place tomorrow. Is that all right with you?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

Tony shrugged, the bottom of his shirt riding up to expose a sliver of skin. His jeans were button fly. Seth bit the inside of his lip to keep from making a sound.

“I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to invite someone over and find out it makes you mad.”

“Why would I be mad? It’s your apartment too, and besides, Evan is a cool guy.” When he wasn’t being the Flame Burst and roasting supervillains alive. His kill-count was in the triple digits, yet he was a good guy. Seth tried not to think about it too hard.

“Okay, cool. I’m kind of worried about him and I don’t like the thought of him being alone.”

Tony rested his head on a plump pillow, laying his hand on his stomach and crossing his ankles. It was an innocent pose that still made Seth’s heart beat a little fast. It was like one of those candid shots in magazines of attractive people being effortlessly sexy; where it shouldn’t have been masturbation fodder but was.

Seth felt ashamed of his own arousal in that Tony was his friend. He’d always thought it was wrong to lust after a friend that didn’t know the feelings they were invoking, but he didn’t feel brave enough to say anything either. Being rejected would be awful–days of weeping in his room, eating ice cream right out of the container, and watching things like What Dreams May Come and Autumn of My Heart–but he’d be able to deal with it. What he couldn’t face was Tony rejecting his feelings, then maybe deciding they couldn’t be friends anymore too.

I’m pathetic, he thought.

Give him a planetary threat and he wouldn’t hesitate to throw himself into the fray. But faced with the man he secretly loved, and he turned into a coward. All the words he wanted to say dried in his throat and his confessions turned to lies and promises that everything was okay.

How have I become this? When did I start hiding who I am and pretending to be someone I’m not? I wasn’t friendzoned; I’ve just never gotten up the balls to say the words.

To look at Tony, face animated as he talked, not noticing that Seth was responding with “Uh huh” and “Really?” when it came to his turn to speak, there was an ache in Seth’s chest. Because he wanted this forever. To listen to Tony, to laugh with Tony, to fight with Tony at his side.

He wanted Tony–best friend, lover, life mate, whatever he could have. It was desperation and indecision, a hunger that would never be tamed, because Tony had burrowed into the center of him and blocked all other loves from taking hold.

How lonely would it be to spend the rest of his life wanting Tony and never having more than this? When had he become so greedy that friendship wasn’t enough and he burned for more?

Teammate, roommate, lover–it was the progression part of him insisted he take. Say the words, some inner voice cried, but he couldn’t because he was too afraid. So he dithered in his one-sided love and lied to himself that what he had was enough.

To look at Tony spread across the bed, talking to him through a computer screen. Close, yet so far away; it hurt, but it was all that he had. He didn’t dare to ask for more because he couldn’t risk losing it all.

“… and kale. It was a strange first meeting, but the food was surprisingly good. So do you think it’s a good idea?” Tony asked.

Seth blinked. He’d been wrapped up in his personal angst and had missed most of what Tony was saying. He scrambled, but he had no clue what they’d been talking about other than it had started with Evan Lee.

“Sure?” he said, near wincing at how it sounded. There was no way Tony could believe he’d been listening.

“Great!” Tony beamed. “I’ll ask him tomorrow. I think he would make a great babysitter, but I was on the fence about it. You’ve made me feel better about the idea.”

“Awesome.” Seth didn’t know what had just happened, but he thought he might have recommended Evan Lee–the Flame Burst! Superhero voted most likely to vaporize his enemies–as Henry’s nanny.

For the rest of their conversation Seth stayed on point. It was a battle to keep his eyes focused on Tony’s face and not his muscular arms or chest. And he definitely did not stare at the juncture of his legs where the outline of his dick against the denim gave clear evidence that Tony tucked left.

There were no more important topics, but at least Seth didn’t have to feel guilty that he was objectifying his straight best friend. Though by the time Tony signed off to go check on Henry, the bread on Seth’s sandwiches was a little dry and his erection was pressed again his zipper to the point of distorting the metal.

He ate both sandwiches, washing them down with sips of water. Then he jerked off furiously into his fist, his eyes squeezed tight shut as he pictured Tony lying on that bed, legs spread and dick out, the button fly splayed wide, framing his pelvis. He imagined putting his mouth there, sucking on Tony’s dick, licking his balls. When he came it was with the imagined splatter of Tony coming all over his face then licking him clean, Tony’s scent absorbing into his skin, claiming him.

I am so fucked, he thought, but he had such a pleasant buzz that there was no fire in it. He’d become used to wanting men that didn’t want him back, though he tried hard never to think of Biotox.

There were so many people that had shown their interest in him, but he was the idiot that fell and fell hard for the ones that didn’t want him. Physically imposing men that hypothetically could hold him down and do whatever they wanted to him. Strong and decisive men that could wrap their arms around him and give him the illusion that he wasn’t the strongest person in the room. He could be the one protected for once, cared for and loved, with a larger body spooned around him at night to keep the nightmares away. Because at the end of the day he wasn’t a superhero, he was just a man.

A man that had fallen for his oblivious best friend.

/CHAPTER

Love it? Share on Twitter and social media.

Donations accepted: Paypal.me/HarperKingsley and Patreon.com/HarperKingsley